If I’m Honest…

When I started this, I intended on being as positive as possible, because I honestly believe in the cliche of “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar,” but this site is me, this is what’s up. 

After today, I don’t have the energy to be positive anymore, unfortunately. I’d like to be, but I just can’t right now. Today, I spent most of my time planning out a Father’s Day marketing shoot for our company. Originally, the shoot was going to be on Friday, which gives me a lot of time to mentally prepare, but it ended up being inconvenient for the crew, so we pushed it to tomorrow. 

The hardest part was picking wardrobe, but I also needed to scout the locations and schedule the time and such. Despite driving through crazy rain for about an hour, everything went off without a hitch. Which is great. The only thing left is to make sure that I’m going to feel confident and creative enough to put everything together. 

Confidence is one of those things that I need to work on with myself. It’s no secret, I have a lack of self-confidence. It’s even at the point where I’ve convinced myself that my team doesn’t even have confidence in me. So, here I am, the night before a shoot (I’d call it important) feeling fairly certain that everyone is expecting me to fail and would rather have someone else take photos, but at the same time, there is a tiny part of me that is trying to call out, and it is REALLY hard to hear him. 

That little part of me is saying that I can do it, and that I’m the best, and that if I just take charge tomorrow people will listen to me and it will all go off without a hitch. I’m more than willing to believe that one bit of confidence that I have, but as soon as one little thing goes wrong, I just know that the rest is all going to come crashing down. 

Here’s to hoping that most of me is wrong. I can do this. 


Finding Balance and Task Management

I’m working on something. I don’t know if I’ve ever made it obvious that I’m wanting to build an Internet-based empire, and every time I’ve started working on it; I jump all in, full throttle, hard as heck. I’ve never eased my way in gradually into any of my solo endeavors, and I’d like to see what it’s like.

They say it takes 21 days to make a habit, so over the next month or so, I’m holding myself to posting once every day here on the blog and on Instagram. I’m hoping that it’ll get to the point where I’ll feel compelled to get this done every day and if I don’t I just won’t feel right, or something. It’s the same as with some of the other things that I already do, where I almost need to do them, and the day doesn’t feel right if I don’t. I’m not sure if I’m explaining it just right. For example, I do the video for my church every Sunday, and it’s gotten to the point where even the days where I don’t feel like getting up to do it, but I mentally feel the need to, even though there’s no consequences for me not.

With all the various things, I’m going to be keeping track of these little tasks that I’ll be doing every day with a newer (at least to me) app for task management: Todoist. I kind of feel like I would prefer to use Things, since I LOVED the older version, and now that they’re on version 3 of it, I can only imagine how amazing it is. However, it would be about $60 for me to get it on my iPhone and my laptop, which isn’t much for what it does, but I’m really trying to not spend any money since we’re still building this house (which I have been meaning to update everyone on, thanks for waiting on that!).  Todoist is free (ish) though, and does some similar things that Things does as well. It does have a paid tier, but I’m wanting to see how far I can take it without needing to pay. Of course, if I get to the point where I need to pay for it, I’ll probably just move back to Things.

Essentially, I’m trying to develop my own discipline without having anyone to answer to other than myself and, of course, you the audience. I guess it’s discipline and accountability. I’m very disciplined in everything else I do, but that’s because I’m held accountable by some sort of higher power. There’s more that I could go into on this, but it’ll get… confusing… or complicated… or both.

Anyway, what does all this mean? It means that streams will not be daily, vlogs will be… periodic (?), and podcasts will still be on hold for the time being. I’m going to probably work out some more details tomorrow, but it’ll probably end up being weekly streams and monthly podcasts and vlogs.

Of course, nothing’s set in stone just yet, I’m not even sure if time and energy will allow for anything to happen. Energy being the important key element, as I tend to over-estimate the number of spoons I have, and I hope in the future to be able to share the load with someone. This is all future stuff, so I’m going to stop focusing on that, and focus on right now, though.

And right now, I’m going to go to bed, since I’ve got work in the morning, and I’d like to be mostly alive for that.

Let me know what you think, though. Have you used an app like Todoist? Do you think taking things on gradually instead of all at once would be better for me?

SKVLOG – March 26th – April 7th

A digest from the past couple of weeks. In this vlog, I talk about Podcasts, Ghost in the Shell, and my Twitch stream setup.

This vlog’s soundtrack:
Ryan Little – Power Trip
Broke For Free – Something Elated
Egg Nebula – Abstract Happiness
Revolution Void – Someone Else’s Memories
смерть в летнюю полночь – непредсказуемость
Resonancedj – Special K
Foniqz – Spectrum (Subdiffusion Mix)
Digi G’Alessio – Ekiti Son Feat Valeska – April DeeGee Rmx
Blank and Kytt – RSPN
All licensed through Creative Commons via freemusicarchive.org


Took a Hike out to La Chua

Today, Sarah and I had the day off together for the first time in, well… what seemed like FOREVER. So, instead of just sitting around the house, we decided to get out and enjoy the warmer weather and go for a hike. This time, we went a little north to Paynes Prarie and hiked the La Chua Trail. 

When we arrived, to the entrance to the trailhead parking lot, it became apparent that all of Gainesville had the same idea. Cars were lined up all along the road, parked in every last bit of available space. I get it, though, it’s the first day of spring, completely understandable. We were lucky enough to get a parking spot, strapped on our (highly unnecessary, but incredibly comfortable) hiking boots, and headed off for the three mile hike.

It was neat to see so many different animals in their natural habitat. Although, it was pretty odd to see wild horses and Bison in Florida, but that’s what happened after the Spanish settled here all that time ago. As a photographer, this is a good place to get some excellent wildlife shots. There were three or four photographers there with immense lenses strictly to get those crazy close-up shots of the birds, gators, and more.

While we were there, I shot a little bit of video on the Fujifilm X-T2, which I’ll edit together eventually, probably. Unfortunately, tragedy struck my favorite camera. After folding my tripod back up and flipping the screen back into place, I noticed that the screen looked blank. I thought it was maybe because the camera had gone into standby, and I woke it back up. Nope. I guess as a direct result of the tilting screen, I can no longer use the screen when it’s flush to the camera. It still works great in ANY OTHER POSITION, but no, not in the standard alignment. I’ve already fired off an email to Fujifilm USA to see what they have to say about it. It is a little worrisome that after about seven months of use, I’m having problems. Maybe I’ll try to upgrade to the GFX 50s. Who knows! I’ll keep you all updated, because I know you’ll be waiting with bated breath.

Overall, despite the crowds, despite the technical difficulties, we both had a good time, and that’s all that really matters. 10/10 I would recommend this little walk to anyone wanting to just get out for a couple hours with the chance of wildlife interaction.

All photos shot with the Fujifilm X-T2 with the XF 16-55mm f/2.8 Lens and edited in Lightroom CC, except the monochrome photos, which are straight off the camera from the Fujifilm X-T10.