When I started this, I intended on being as positive as possible, because I honestly believe in the cliche of “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar,” but this site is me, this is what’s up. 

After today, I don’t have the energy to be positive anymore, unfortunately. I’d like to be, but I just can’t right now. Today, I spent most of my time planning out a Father’s Day marketing shoot for our company. Originally, the shoot was going to be on Friday, which gives me a lot of time to mentally prepare, but it ended up being inconvenient for the crew, so we pushed it to tomorrow. 

The hardest part was picking wardrobe, but I also needed to scout the locations and schedule the time and such. Despite driving through crazy rain for about an hour, everything went off without a hitch. Which is great. The only thing left is to make sure that I’m going to feel confident and creative enough to put everything together. 

Confidence is one of those things that I need to work on with myself. It’s no secret, I have a lack of self-confidence. It’s even at the point where I’ve convinced myself that my team doesn’t even have confidence in me. So, here I am, the night before a shoot (I’d call it important) feeling fairly certain that everyone is expecting me to fail and would rather have someone else take photos, but at the same time, there is a tiny part of me that is trying to call out, and it is REALLY hard to hear him. 

That little part of me is saying that I can do it, and that I’m the best, and that if I just take charge tomorrow people will listen to me and it will all go off without a hitch. I’m more than willing to believe that one bit of confidence that I have, but as soon as one little thing goes wrong, I just know that the rest is all going to come crashing down. 

Here’s to hoping that most of me is wrong. I can do this.